pyreclaws:

prettyinpinkprep:

If you ever think I’m a good role model, just know this: I took a poison ivy plant and rubbed it all over this girl’s car that I hated in high school. Horrifically that same day, she was carpooling 3 other girls that I didn’t like to the mall. The next day they came in covered in rashes and had to give the pe teacher a note because it had spread in unsavory places.

And so did 3 of the football players.

You are the best role model what are you talking about

(via safetymatchesstillburn)

iellorah:

deep-in-the-trench:

davehugs:

pros to being a jellyfish

• ur cute n beautiful
• you never have to go to college
• ur parents dont judge u
• ur allowed 2 be sassy dont get near my tentacles silly boys ill kill you
• whats a gender
• u just look amazing and float around all day wooooo

cons to being a jellyfish

•  

turtles eat you slowly; tearing your body apart piece by piece.

• turtles want u inside them hothothot

(via safetymatchesstillburn)

clumsyoctopus:

my ad for beauty products

girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face

old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country

girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you

ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND BEING CONDESCENDED TO

(via safetymatchesstillburn)

s4ls4:

mrsspencereid:

it’s kind of ridiculous that we have to work our asses off for 13 years in school just to work our asses off for another 2-8+ years in college just to work our asses off in a job that we probably don’t even like, when we were born on this earth without a choice and i for one certainly didn’t sign up for that

this is seriously all i fucking think about

(Source: wheelsupinthirty, via safetymatchesstillburn)